Week 25 weight gains: Big yes, big yes, big no

Yesterday the latest antenatal report arrived.  Although I had already read somewhere that between weeks 20-24, bubs start putting on impressive amounts of weight, it was a still big surprise to see that one little champ had over doubled its weight (from 365g to 791g) in the last 4 weeks.  Not to be outdone, the other did even better — from 367g to a whopping 842g, a gain of 130%. No wonder the clinic’s email said they were progressing well!  This dad-to-be was experiencing a very warm glow.

Seconds later, the glow vanished.  The weight of my champion surrogate had not increased at all in the same period, not even by the amount the twins had gained.  According to one website, she should have put on 2-4kg in the last month. Another site reiterated how important weight gain is for a woman carrying twins “especially between weeks 20 to 24 of pregnancy”.  It added: “if a mother of twins gains 11kg by the 24th week of pregnancy she reduces her chance of pre-term labour.”  Hmmm, my surrogate’s weight gain is not even close to that.

The clinic responded quickly to my concerns and confirmed they were aware of the issue and had put my surrogate on a high protein diet.  The poor woman has been suffering from a cold and had lost her appetite.  It’s not a good development.  I’m hoping her appetite returns with a vengeance and fast. 

Halfway and looking good

Just returned from a work assignment in a remote part of Australia some 1200km from where I live.  First priority on arrival home was to check out the 20 week ultrasound scan images of the twins on a big screen.  The images arrived nearly 2 weeks ago while I was ‘out bush’ but they were hard to view properly on my mobile phone and the laptop I was able to borrow.

The twins are developing well, no anomalies are evident and they’re weighing around 370 grams each.  Just as important, my champion surrogate is happy, healthy and coping with those extra 4 arms and legs now doing aerobics and probably some experimental kick-boxing. Aren't surrogates the most wonderful and generous of women?

The images are amazing.  Tiny fingers, feet, rib cages and spines have taken on a new fascination.  My favourite is the only image of a little face (above) — the other bub was tucked up in a position where no face shot was possible this time.  This image renders me speechless… am I worthy of something so beautiful and precious?  And not one but two?  Then reality kicks in and my sheer elation and wonderment is punctuated by moments (and more) of sheer terror!  New parent panic I guess… will I know what to do, will I cope, will the twins cope with me?  l can’t even iron a shirt so will I be able to change a nappy?

Friends find my naiveté very amusing.  For some reason unknown to me, most female friends are quite certain I’ll be the proud dad of 2 girls.  What do they know that I don’t??  My examination of every magnified pixel of the femur scans makes me suspect that they’ll be a boy and a girl.  That’s today.  Last week on my mobile phone screen it looked like 2 girls or maybe 2 boys!  It doesn’t matter to me what they are but it would help in choosing names.  Girls’ names are now shortlisted to less than 10 and the list for boys is now down to less than 50.  And I thought naming would be easy!

Being halfway through the pregnancy adventure means that the start of the much bigger adventure is not that far away.  Mid-August to be precise.  Can’t wait.  J

Vocal cords

Two sets of vocal cords have formed.  Oh well, it had to happen!

 

By all accounts the twins are progressing really well and my champion surrogate is happy and well too.  I wish I didn't live so far away.  It’s been a long 5 weeks since the last images so this week’s scan results have eagerly been anticipated, more so because the triple marker blood tests conducted last month are apparently not that useful for picking up congenital defects when it’s a multiple pregnancy.  On hearing this fact I was pleased in hindsight that when selecting an egg donor, I had asked the clinic to check that my egg donor’s parents were not from the same ancestor (consanguineous) given that uncle/niece marriages are not uncommon in parts of India and other parts of the world and that WHO research suggests that congenital problems can sometimes be more frequent in such situations.

This week’s scans were the ‘targeted’ variety meaning they were conducted solely to determine head and abdomen circumference and the length of the femur.  The images were all very technical with no recognisable body shots or images of faces, hands and feet to cluck over.  Hopefully some of those will be included next time.  For the time being though I'm thrilled with the news that the twins are both fine and in fact are looking more like 17 week olds rather than the 16 weeks they really are.  Getting ahead of themselves already… typical teens I guess.  Oh well!  


So now it's another 4 weeks of cheering them on until the next scans.  Hey, with their new vocal cords they can join in!  And next time, they'll be half way there.  
J

A farewell to two heartbeats

When can an intending parent start accepting their surrogate’s pregnancy will most probably go the distance and end in a squirmy cuddly bub?  When does the fragility of hope and uncertainty become superseded by a sense of reality and ownership?  When is it safe to risk affection?

For the moment I’m very much in the hope and uncertainty mode.  How I want it to be different!  It’s such a fickle thing, human pregnancy.  So many hurdles from the very first day: retrieving eggs, achieving fertilisation, transfer, implantation and the challenge for an embryo to get through the first trimester, to reach the starting blocks of a safer passage. We all know so many don’t make it past these hurdles. 

I’ve delayed writing this post and have debated whether it should even be written.  But without it, this would not a proper diary.  I would be cheating myself. 

My surrogate is carrying two embryos.  Ten days ago she was carrying four.  Of course it couldn’t be.  At the start of this adventure and in my mind, embryo reduction was nothing more than a procedure, a necessity when things couldn’t be, before a tiny, vulnerable embryo became a ‘proper’ foetus.  And of course that’s exactly what it is.  But ten days ago it seemed much more than that.  After weeks of marvelling four little embryos and willing and cheering them on, it was time to say goodbye to two, not that I even know which two.  I was surprised by my emotions and sense of attachment.  

So when is it safe to risk affection?  My two embryos aren’t yet safe and it’s foolish to think of them as ‘mine’.  But I’m a fool and I do and I love them to bits.  They’ve almost reached the relative safety of the second trimester and they’re part way getting over the hurdle of elevated risk (of miscarriage) following the reduction procedure.  (My champion surrogate is fine but confined to bed for two weeks as a precaution.)  Oh how I’m willing and cheering them on!  

More tests

News from the clinic that my surrogate had a NT scan, triple marker test and routine HIV test today and that they would be in touch again on 19 March!  After some eyebrow aerobics and a chuckle I emailed them back and asked if  the results of those tests could be provided when they become available.  Am certain they would have been sent without my asking but just wanted to make sure I didn't have to wait til mid-March.


I'm learning lots.  Have just been reading about fundal height because it's now 'just palpable'.  My surrogate has also put on 3kg in 3 weeks.  Amazing!  


Clinic is now talking in terms of gestational age and not age since conception.  So it's week 11. 


The second semester is now in sight but I'm not taking anything for granted.

Second scan, 7 weeks

Email from the clinic late tonight.  Second scan completed and all is fine.  The embryos have already grown to 22mm which gives them a gestational age of 8-9 weeks.  It may be my imagination but they are starting to develop a recognisable shape. Amazing!  


5 weeks of this first trimester to go.  Am hoping the anxiety levels will decrease a lot (okay, a bit then) at that milestone!  Ever the optimist!


If all goes well, I won't hear from the clinic during the next month.  Right now that seems like an eternity. 

First scan

Just heard... pregnancy confirmed... more than one heartbeat!  Thrilled.  More than grateful and to be honest, in awe and completely beyond words.  
Stay safe little heartbeats.